My Husband

Nov. 16th, 2007 03:13 pm
margoeve: (Elkor and I)
I am with a man who has stuck by me through great heart aches and great triumphs. He's cleaned up the messes others left across my heart, and still not turned his back on me.

He would never forbid me from contact from someone I care about, unless that person meant me harm. No matter how much he might resent the other person, if I care for them he knows it would hurt me more to cut them off from me, than to just let it be.

I have never met a man who gets so much happiness from my joy before. If I am smiling, he is content, even if it was not him who caused that smile.

Don't get me wrong, he causes me to smile a lot. After all these years, we can still just lay together, be silly, and giggle like idiots. He still kisses me every morning upon waking. They say it's the little things that matter. That is because over so long, the little things become huge, like his morning kisses. Like the way his hand rests in the center of my back when we sleep to ward off my nightmares.

When I run hot, he is cool. Not cold like ice, but the cool reassurance of the moist earth in a forest on a hot summers day.
When I am hurt, he is a balm to my soul. His touch is soothing, like the healing hands of one who has studies such arts their entire life.
When I am cold, he is the warm hearth fire. Not scalding. Not a flash. But a slow constant warmth.
He is home to me. He is the one I come back to when my adventuring is done.

He balances me.

And yet, this was not always so.

Love and Happiness are not finite commodities in the Universe. We are entitled to as much of it as we are willing to let ourselves have. For the truth is anyone can have anything they want, as long as they don't care about what it looks like.

Case in point: My elopement was not what I thought it should look like. In truth, for many years I never thought I would have a husband, and if I did, he would not look like [livejournal.com profile] elkor. And still both are all I wanted and more.

As I stare at the ring on my finger, I know it wasn't a matter of fate. It wasn't because of a confluence of events pushing me in this direction. It was because we worked DAMN hard on being with each other. We had to relearn how to talk to each other so the other would hear. We had to relearn how to experience our emotions so as not to drive the other away. It is not enough to want or wish or wait; We had be willing to do the work to make this work.

I am honored that he believed me to be worth the effort. I know what he does for me, but I am still at a loss for what I do for him.
I no longer question it though. I know that it is enough that he found me worthy of his energy, worthy of his love, worthy of his efforts to open himself up to me. I get it now.

Finally.

Nov. 5th, 2007 06:22 pm
margoeve: (Elkor and I)

With this ring, I thee wed.
With this ring, I thee wed.
8 years ago today we met, beginning our journey together. Today we are Husband and Wife, Partners in Life, for all we make of it together.

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